The Weight of Others’ Words
Have you ever received criticism that stuck with you for days? That one comment from a colleague, friend, or even a stranger online that you just couldn’t shake?
We’ve all been there.
When someone criticizes or attacks us, our natural instinct is to absorb it—to take it into our heart space. This is especially true if you’re naturally sensitive or going through a vulnerable period in your life.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned after years of personal growth: most criticism says more about the person giving it than about you.
The Duck Philosophy: A Game-Changer for Your Mental Health
Remember that old saying about letting things roll off you “like water off a duck’s back”? There’s profound wisdom in that simple image.
When ducks swim, their feathers have a special coating that repels water, keeping them dry and buoyant. What a perfect metaphor for handling criticism!
But how do we develop this emotional waterproofing? Here’s what’s worked for me:
1. Recognize When You’re Absorbing Negativity
The first step is awareness. Notice when you’re taking someone’s words or actions to heart. Feel that heaviness? That’s your signal that you’re absorbing something that might not belong to you.
2. Ask: “Is This Really About Me?”
When criticism comes your way, pause and ask yourself if it’s actually about you, or if the person might be projecting their own frustrations, insecurities, or bad day onto you.
Often, I’ve found that the harshest criticisms come from people who are hurting themselves. Understanding this has been incredibly freeing.
Building Your Energetic Boundaries
The more we practice letting unhelpful criticism roll off our backs, the stronger our sense of self becomes. It’s like building a muscle—each time you successfully deflect negativity that isn’t yours to carry, you get stronger.
With practice, you’ll develop what I call “energetic integrity”—the ability to:
- Discern what feedback is constructive
- Release what doesn’t serve you
- Remain centered in your truth regardless of external opinions
The Compassionate Middle Path
This doesn’t mean becoming closed off to all feedback. The goal isn’t to ignore everything others say—it’s to develop the wisdom to know what to take in and what to let go.
Sometimes, criticism contains valuable insights that can help us grow. The trick is learning to hear these without letting them destabilize your core.
“The ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
My Personal Journey
I used to be someone who took everything to heart. A single negative comment could throw me off for weeks. I’d obsess over it, replay it in my mind, and question my worth because of it.
The turning point came when I realized how much power I was giving to others’ opinions. Now, when criticism comes my way, I take a deep breath, thank the person for their perspective, and then mindfully decide whether their words have value for my growth or whether they need to slide right off my back.
Your Turn: Becoming Duck-Like in a World Full of Rain
How might your life change if you could let unhelpful criticism roll off you? What would you do, create, or express if you weren’t afraid of others’ judgments?
I invite you to practice the “duck philosophy” this week. The next time someone criticizes you:
- Take a breath
- Remind yourself “this might not be about me”
- Imagine the words physically rolling off your back
- Move forward with your day, unburdened
Remember, you get to choose what you take into your heart space. Choose wisely, dear reader.
What criticism have you been carrying that’s time to let go of? Share in the comments below—I read and respond to each one!
About the Author: Leader is a certified life coach and writer focused on emotional resilience and authentic living. Follow on https://www.instagram.com/bedofeelgood for daily inspiration.
